My ways are odd,
my thoughts are not,
my feelings drag behind.
My face, it melts.
And the pain it helds,
goes well with my mind.
My complains are harsh,
my mask a farce
my hope is far astray.
My bones are cold.
My dreams are old.
Will I ever find my way?
Today was….. exhausting.
Therapy every day drains you, so so much. I’m sick of getting mental blows every day, and yet, no matter how much I have a mental tantrum, I have to admit it has worked.
That’s the frustrating part.
I’ve also started hearing whispers again. It’s a hard thing to admit since nobody wants to be the most crazy bitch on the block I suppose. But it happens, and if it happens often enough it might result in another psychotic episode again. And THAT scares me. Fuck monsters or scary movies, that’s the thing that both frightens the shit out of me and drains more of my energy.
My friends want to help me with the hearing voices thing, but honestly, I wouldn’t know how. Sure maybe walk with me if I get them more in certain places (which happens, strangely enough), but other than that.. I mean they can’t bitchslap a hallucination. That’s not how that works.
Maybe I’ll prepare a post about the whole schedule of a day in the mental hospital. That might give me some distraction.
Hope it helps. I’m feeling a little down at the moment. Maybe it’s all triggered by the higher dose of Lithium I take now. We’ll know tomorrow after my appointment with the therapist.
-Drag
Life In Blues And Yellows 